A New Turning Point

New Story I Guess Pt.1 (11/14/11)

An old white box fan that was now coated in a thin film of grime shook gently on the window frame where it was perched. Its aged structure attempted to maintain the speed of the fastest setting as the weak plastic bent willing beneath the hot summer sun. The humidity could be felt within the air; I readjusted in my chair trying to make my damp shirt release from my skin. The fabric clung to my torso awkwardly as I shifted about uncomfortably in on the lumpy waiting room sofa. The mustard colored cushions showed signs of neglect that would make a weaker man cringe.

            A small light haired child sat across from me on the cool tile floor. He was preoccupied with a small toy racing car which he spun in a large circle around his body, spinning around on his knees as fast as his body would allow. An uptight woman gripped the edges of her self help magazine as she attempted to block out the child’s sound effects that went along with his fabled race. She sat with her legs crossed in a stiff business blazer and matching skirt; her black stockings gave her fair skin an odd tint that made her legs almost appear unnatural. As my eyes began working their way from her legs up to her face I was met with an icy glare. Quickly, I averted my eyes out of fear of the possible conflict with the high strung woman, but before she could open her mouth to snap at me a heavy set nurse waddled sluggishly through the doorway and grumbled my name.

            I stood quickly, feeling the seal that my damp body made against the decrepit sofa release swiftly.  As I approached the large nurse she turned or her heels and began slowly waddling back down the same hallway from whence she came. We walked in silence and her eyes constantly remained fixed on the many charts attached to her thick wooden clipboard that was meticulously placed in the small space between her left bosom and her protruding stomach.

            The sterile room was painted a faint shade of powder blue and its only contents were two dark blue chairs made of hard plastic that stood on either side of a small metal table. A friendly looking man with a matching clipboard to that of the nurse’s already occupied the chair on the far side of the table. He gently motioned for me to have a seat and smiled warmly as I obeyed without hesitation. I heard the large nurse pull the door closed behind me and the questions began immediately after the lock clicked shut.

            “Let’s start simple and work out way up, shall we?”

His fluid speech matched his well kempt appearance flawlessly.

“What is your name?”

Anxious thoughts filled my mind as I began to fear my voice would come off as hideous to such a pleasant man. My voice was reduced to merely a murmur when I had finally conjured up the ability to speak aloud,

“Nathan.”

“Good, please don’t feel the need to be hesitant, we would rather that you feel comfortable and confident while you are here with us.”

His calm tone eased away my discomforts, as the questions continued,

“How old are you?”

“I think I’m thirty five.”

He began scribbling down notes on unknown aspects of my appearance and responses as we went along,

“Why do you say ‘you think’?”

“I don’t have a calendar and I haven’t been told what year it is since I was a child.”

“I see, and what circle would you say that you were from?”

“Excuse me?”

The man’s appearance began to harden as his comforting expression began to fade slightly and he started to write more rapid and violently. The pleasant environment of the room began to shift and I felt as though my simple interview had now been turned into an interrogation. Small beads of sweat began to form at my hairline as my gaze began to shift quickly between the interviewer and the securely locked door. My skin began to crawl as the methodical scratching of the tip of the pencil against the bleach white paper began to sink into my mind. I could feel pressure begin to build up behind my temples as the metal screws supporting the back of the plastic chair dug into the skin of my back.

“Would you like me to repeat the question, or is there some other aspect that you do not understand?”

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘circles’.”

The man exhaled heavily,

“That is exactly what I had feared.”

He paused slightly to recollect his place on the piece of paper,

“You will have to excuse me; I am not at liberty to continue onward with this interview. There is someone else that you must speak in light of this new situation.”

Another Attempt.

So, I will continue to write, but I honestly doubt it will be as frequently (if you can tell it’s been kind of scarce because of college)

I’m going to try to start writing more of my just random thoughts and expressing ideas on specific topics. I highly doubt a lot of people look at my tumblr, but if you ever want me to talk on a specific topic then just send me a message and I’ll reply with a post.

I will start my random thoughts either tonight or tomorrow, this is just the heads up to motivate myself to go through with it.

Nature and Nurture

     Early morning is the best time to explore. As the world slowly wakes up, getting back on its feet for a new day. Everything is so fresh and peaceful and there is not a care in your mind because if you are the only one awake, there’s nothing to fill your mind with worry.

     As the sun beats down upon the earth ever so gently you can breathe in, filling your lungs with the new day’s air. Bare feet against the dew covered grass, you can feel as it laces between your toes bending and weaving in between the cracks. 

     There is nothing to distract you from the simplistic beauty of the natural world that surrounds you on all sides. As you close your eyes, you feel the gentle breeze lazily roll across your exposed side stimulating your soft, warm skin. The hairs on your arms stand up as you’re fully embrace the serene world around you. In this moment, you can be truly free from the ties that make you human and you can once again glide through the vast unexplored world that is nature. 

     Every forest, every mountain, every unique blade of grass will be enhanced and recorded through your newly opened eyes as you walk aimlessly, simply absorbing as if you were once again an infant, being exposed to the world around your body for the first time. 

     But, as the world wakes and other join you, breaking into your secretive world if nature, all that you have been engulfed in begins to slowly fade. Interactions begin and countless distractions arise before you. A sense of responsibility overrides the child-like feelings you had so shortly prior experienced. 

     You are no longer free in the world around you. You have been reduced to nothing but a slave to the social norms set in place by the members of a society that grasps you within its clutches every day. No matter how much you may resent this society, you will always feel obligated to abide by its rule and regulations. For if you do not, one would claim you to be a savage and you would be cast out immediately; never to return forever wondering why your free thoughts have forced you into the life of exile you dread so greatly.

For you.

“Don’t go. It’s not time to get up yet.”

            The man stood placing his feet onto the cold hardwood floor.

            “Did I say something wrong?”

            The woman sat up looking at the man as he ran his fingers through his hair grabbing it in two large clumps. The man stood and turned meeting her eyes, but couldn’t utter a word.

            “Please, come back and rest it’s far too early for this.”

            He had stopped listening to her pleas and turned away. He placed his hands, balled up into fists, onto the dark wood of the dresser looking in the mirror back at the woman propped up on both arms beckoning him to come beside her.

            “It’s far too late,”

            He whispered quietly shaking his head and looking at the saddened image of the woman who sat behind him. She rose slowly and walked delicately across the floor and slipped her arms around his waist.

            “This isn’t right for either of us,”

            He could feel her chin gently pressed onto his shoulder blade.

            “But you stayed; does that mean nothing to you?”

            Violently, the man pulled himself from her trip and walked sharply to the glass doors that led to the balcony. The white sheet of snow was intensified by the glare of the early morning sunshine. He scanned the surface of the untouched snow looking for even the slightest imperfection.

            “Why is this so hard for you?”

            He turned to her,

            “You are not who I fell in love with anymore.”

            A stray tear traced down the woman’s cheek as the words sunk into her skin,

            “Do you not miss the moments where I kissed you in the early morning?”

            She clenched her fists as her voice began to rise, attempting not to crack.

            “Or how about when you held me so tight I could’ve sworn I felt your soul come in through my pores.”

            He turned back to her and placed his hand to the side of her face and looked into woman’s pained eyes.

            “We grew up, there’s nothing that will change that. You cannot live forever in our past.”

            She wrapped her arms around his and grabbed her forearms tightly locking him in place with all her strength,

            “Then I have no other choice, I’m not letting you go.”

            She felt his shoulders shrug,

            “Now you’re just being childish.”

             “How can you not hold onto the inner child, why have you changed so much since we last were together?”

            The grip around his waist tightened as he sighed deeply trying to avoid her eyes.

            “People grow up.”

            “No.”

            Tears stained his shirt as she buried her face into his chest,

            “No one grows up and out of someone they love. If you say you love someone it’s eternal that doesn’t end just because you think you found someone better.”

            His hands cupped gently around her shoulders as the man pulled her away from his chest,

            “This isn’t about who either of us met; this is simply what happens when time and distance come between two people.”

            The woman let go and sat down on the edge of the bed looking at the wooden slats that formed the bedroom floor.

            “Best friends don’t just die overnight.”

            “Then I guess we weren’t really best friends to begin with.”

            The woman looked up at him,

            “Then what are we?”

            The man kneeled on the floor propping himself up with one knee,

            “I didn’t say I was going to stop loving you. Nor did I say I never wanted to love you.”

            Reaching into his pocket, the man withdrew a small black box that he had removed from a hidden corner on the dresser.

            “I grew up and stopped having a crush on you; it’s far more than that now. We both grew up and now I kneel here because I don’t want to continue dwelling in the past, instead let us make a new future.”

            The woman sat nervously on the edge of her bed staring into the now watery eyes of the boy she once knew.

            “It’s time for us to make new memories together and let the old ones remain in the past. Marry me.”

            The woman nodded speechlessly,

            “I- I will.”

            “And I will promise to love you.”

            New tears formed at the corner of the woman’s eyes but these tear would never hold any sorrow. The man slid the ring onto her finger and kissed the top of her hand.

            “Forever.”

Part 15 (7/28/11 PM)

The neatly trimmed hedges loomed over the gates that led into the Livington Preparatory Academy. Charlie sat in the back seat of a long black town car, reluctantly awaiting his arrival. The glass fogged as he leaned his forehead onto cold glass of the window as the car stopped in front of the archway that lead into the main dining concourse. Charlie slipped money over the seat and handed it to the patiently waiting hand of the driver. Then, pulling the door of the car open, he took his first steps back onto the campus that held him captive.

A tall man in a nicely pressed suit awaited Charlie’s arrival. He held the door open as Charlie lumbered through the doorway, dragging his suitcase at his heels. The man pulled out a handkerchief and began dabbing his forehead as he dropped a thick folder onto the table between them. 

“I’m afraid Charles,” He began in a loud somewhat threatening tone,

“If we find you partaking in any more of this miscreant behavior, then I will be forced to sign off on your expulsion and you will never come back to this academy.”

Charlie yawned loudly and propped his head up with the palm of his hand,

“So are we done here then? I have things to do.”

The man’s face began to redden,

“Not quite.” 

The man fumbled over the sheets of loose paper within the folder, until successfully finding what he needed and slid it outward for Charlie to read.

“Well, what is it?”

“This, Charles, is a contract you must sign into if you wish to continue going to this fine academy. It states that you will no longer be found in any situation nor will you perform any action that could possibly earn you even the most minute punishment. Also, if you void this contract you will never be allowed to set foot onto the school grounds again nor will you be able to transfer your already acquired credits to any other school in the surrounding area.”

“Well, it seems I have no choice but to agree, so might as well get this over with.”

Charlie took a intricate fountain pen from the man’s hand and delicately signed the line at the bottom of the paper.

“Now are we done here?”

The man locked eyes with Charlie as they both stood from the hard mahogany benches,

“It would appear so.”

“Right then, I think I’ll be going now. I have a very important appointment I just simply cannot miss.” 

Charlie turned on his heels, spinning his rolling luggage in a small circle as the tiny rubber wheels attempted to maintain traction. He then walked away from the tall man hurriedly and out into the cool afternoon air. 

The uncomfortable mattress broke his fall as Charlie dropped backwards onto the stiff dorm bed. He had forgotten the unwelcoming discomfort that the entirety of the school brought to him. Charlie exhaled loudly as he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling as he reached blindly outwards towards his end table in search of a book.

* * *

I turned the knob to my dorm room. expecting it to be unlocked. As the door swung inward I saw Charlie laying in his bed, exactly where he had been the first time I had walked into the room.

Charlie glanced up at me, then continued reading the book that was standing upright on his chest.

“Miss me?”

He murmured as he finished the page, dog earring his place in the large book. 

“I could as the same thing.”

A small smile formed at the edges of Charlie’s mouth. I instantly knew nothing had changed since the last time I saw him.

“Care for a walk Theo?”

I smiled and nodded as Charlie pulled his sweatshirt from the floor and pulled it over his head.